Tag Archives: dog poop


Out-U-Go! staff meetings typically involve bagels, coffee, orders of business and staff members sharing  some of their experiences working at Out-U-Go!  It usually becomes clear that some of our Pet Parents’ homes produce more stories than others and at a recent meeting, one particular household of dogs proved to have A LOT of stories (mostly about poop).  Of those stories, one sticks out in particular…

To protect their anonymity, let’s refer to the dogs as Penny and Gretta G.  Now, Penny and Gretta share a special flare for life as well as anything and everything edible and not edible.  As such, it’s not uncommon for them to crap on the floor… but hey, even the best of us have the occasional accident.

Like most dogs, these two shed a lot so their owner purchased a Roomba to keep the hardwood floors clean while he’s at work.  If you don’t know, a Roomba is a Frisbee sized robot vacuum designed to roam the house cleaning the floor while you’re at work.  Between a mid day visit for the dogs from Out-U-Go! and a hard working Roomba, this Pet Parent had a lot to look forward to every time he opened his door after a hard day at work.

One day, like all days, Penny and Gretta’s owner kissed his two beautiful dogs goodbye, released the Roomba to do its thing and drove off to work.  A few hours later our walker arrived to find a house full of diarrhea and a hard working Roomba.

As it turns out, the standard Roomba is not equipped to clean a house full of diarhea, but not due to any lack of effort.  By following the parallel diarrhea tracks around the living room and noting the skid marks of partially-dry diarrhea with wheel tracks through them, our walker could clearly see the Roomba’s morning long effort to vacuum up diarrhea.  Because the Roomba has a sensor that determines whether an area is clean or whether it needs more vacuuming, it diligently attempted to clean several areas with back and forth motions until the sensor read clean.  Had the Roomba been mounted on a WWI tank it might have had a chance, but alas, the standard model uses plastic wheels and the sensor never read clean so back and forth it went.  Despite giving it the old college try, our walker wasn’t able to get the floor completely clean, just like the Roomba.

Upon hearing of this incident, our office staff picked up the phone and called this Pet Parent at work to inform him of what happened.  He responded with mostly curse words.  Penny and Gretta bounced back fairly quickly and were ready for their mid-day walk the very next day.  The Roomba, however, was never the same.


10 Alternative (and Fun!) Ways to Pick up Dog Poo

Now wouldn't this be nice?

Every dog walker, be they professional or recreational, has been there: watching in horror as your dog struggles into that familiar squat while you check your pockets for a bag that you already know isn’t there.

Folks without dogs will almost always, at this point, assume the worst of you. Yet folks with dogs know that dogs enjoy counting beforehand the number of bags you’ve brought with you and then pooping that number of times plus one.
So, what are you going to do? Since litter and public trash containers abound, dog walkers usually have options. The next time you’re without bag, try one of these:

  1. Prop a subscriber’s newspaper against their door and steal the bag it came in.
  2. Paper towel tube. Can be found in dumpsters or gutters. Scoop it up like you would a snow cone. Once the mess is contained, DO NOT TARRY. Throw parcel away immediately or the structural integrity of the tube will fail and YOU DO NOT WANT THIS.
  3. Grocery sack. These can be found in almost any tree.
  4. A squirrel.
  5. In one of those lone shoes available by the roadside.
  6. Weave a basket from blades of tall grass.
  7. Ask to borrow a stranger’s sock for a magic trick.
  8. If the dog was kind of constipated, you can use a penny and sort of Tiddlywink the poo into the storm drain.
  9. Kick it under the sod.
  10. Train your dog to bury it.



We shall not name this poo's maker

In a way, dog walkers are like miners – we take substances which are locked up deep inside some cave and remove it to a more agreeable location.  We are also like stock brokers – we seek the most auspicious situation from which to profit from anticipated developments.  Also we are like outfielders – the moment some bolus hits the grass, we try to snatch it up and throw it out. Substances, developments, bolus – all fancy words for poop.

Dogs will always pee on things.  A dry dog in a dessert will still lift his leg at a cactus, even if he doesn’t have a drop to spare.  Some dogs create great lakes in their living rooms on a regular basis (I’m calling you out, Dudley) while others would never dream of committing so heinous an impropriety.  Some dogs mark every tree as if they were straddling a spray can, while others go only once, and only when there’s no one around. It’s really quite intricate, but even so, #1 is only half as vexing as #2.

I always feel a little bad if a walk is not fruitful, so to speak.  It’s a little embarrassing to have to write “1 only” under the “I was a good dog and went number” line on the Doggie Diary.  Of course, I can’t make a dog poop, even if I have at times wondered if there isn’t some kung-fu move that I could deploy that would (harmlessly) hit some pressure points to align the dogs chi, and thus his bowels.  Some dogs observe a regular daily schedule that is simply out of sync with my own walking schedule.  Other dogs get too busy smelling things, or staring at squirrels, or skipping around like caffeinated crickets.  Some dogs get blocked up with diets of stuffed animals and socks, while others require a crossword and a quite corner of their own back yard.  I do what I can to encourage their every success, but ultimately, it’s a battle they each must fight alone.

And what a fight it is sometimes. To be continued……